I am quickly approaching the one year anniversary of becoming a mother! As it gets closer and closer I keep reliving all of the memories of pregnancy from the first positive test, four months of throwing up my insides, the first kicks, the waiting a week past her due date, and finally the fast and intense delivery. It was all wonderful. Well mostly wonderful, with the exception of what I like to call My Biggest Pregnancy Issue. It is the issue that shouldn't have been on my mind every time I went into the doctor to hear the heartbeat, receive the exciting handouts about what the baby was doing now, and to blissfully count down the days. It caused a deep depression, an obsession, and a black mark on my whole pregnancy. It was weight gain, and not that I alone obsessed about my growing butt or the clothes that got tighter, but that every. single. check up. I was told I was fat.
Yes I said it - fat. The midwife that I oh so delightfully had to have for months would look at my chart, cluck her tongue, shake her head and say "Honey, you are very overweight. Your baby will be a million pounds because you are fat." I think every woman out there, pregnant or not, just had their mouths drop to the floor. Yes I had gained a few too many pounds. In the end I had gained about five to six pounds over the "recommended" amount to gain, but according to this horrid excuse of a midwife I was a worthless blubber of a whale that was going to have to have my giant child ripped from my huge body.
Now after about five appointments where I would leave in tears and sit in the bathroom down the hall having myself a "fat" ugly cry, I finally told my sweet husband my issue. He didn't really understand because of course they would track my weight gain and be concerned if I was "over" the average, but at the same time he saw the "fat" ugly cry and suggested I complain. Here is the thing. When you are pregnant your whole body changes, and really it should be celebrated because you are creating a new life inside of you. Yes, I probably had one too many cookies, but give me a break. I threw up for four months straight and after that I should be allowed to eat an entire Girl Scout cookie factory. They ended up giving me a very sweet midwife who never once in the last few weeks of my pregnancy comment on my weight. She just delighted with me in the final days and praised me for my birth plan detail, my perseverance through the summer heat, and of course told me how I looked beautiful.
Here is the thing ladies, if anyone calls you fat while you are pregnant you need to punch them in the throat. Okay maybe not be so violent, but don't have yourself a "fat" ugly cry in the bathroom down the hall of the doctor office. Instead, thank them for their rude comment, tell your baby that you love them, and then have a donut. Yes, be healthy, but also enjoy yourself. It isn't worth letting some jerk make you feel like a whale. Plus, weight can come off and on. It is your body, not some freak of a midwife who needs some bedside manner classes.
Oh and guess what midwife from hades - I lost all of the weight plus five more and counting. You on the other hand will always be a horrible, horrible, ugly person.
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