Playtime

Before I was a mom I would get really hurt when my friends would refer to their "mommy friends". What was I "childless friend" "married but not procreating friend" "selfish career working friend"? Why the categories? It wasn't until I was a stay at home mom, lonely, and in desperate need of someone who knew what I was going through to talk with. I tried with my other "childless friends" but it is hard. I think looking in you think that being a parent can't be that hard. Sure there is poop, crying, throw up...but the emotional toll it can take is something very different. I can't really describe it, but at the same time my "childless friends" are actually the people I like to spend more time with. It reminds me that I once was a normal person that did not have to worry about smelling like sour milk. Oh and also it is nice to NOT talk about babies for once...go figure. So even though I enjoy my time with my "childless friends" I know that I need to branch out if not just for my sanity but for Ella to meet other kids.

Well in my attempt to find "mommy friends" in the community known for their social freeze (Seattle is very well known for not being openly friendly...just trust me on this), I joined a mom group.

Yesterday Ella and I attended our first playgroup. It was at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. It was a zoo. Tons of kids of all ages and moms, dads, grandmas, pretty much everyone! I was going to be a part of a mom group in my area, but when I got there I had no idea where I was or who to talk to. I felt like the first day of school.

In 6th grade I moved to a new school and that first day was one of the most frightening things I've ever done. You don't know anyone, and at first it is okay because you have assigned seats and everyone introduces themselves, but then recess and lunch happens. I skipped the assigned seats at the mom group and went straight into recess but now I had a small child attached to me. I'm not saying people weren't nice, but if it weren't for the fact that my child has only been around two other children, each for only a few hours, I would have ran away.

I found a spot next to two moms of similar aged babies, but talking was impossible with the loud and busy children running around. I kept looking at Ella because the other babies were fussy or unhappy. What was my Ella doing? She was sitting there smiling. She apparently loves other children. This is a blessing and curse, because while mommy wants her to be social, mommy herself had a slight panic attack with the sticky and smelling toddlers that were rushing around her.

Story time and songs then started, which is always Ella's favorite things. I moved her hands with the songs and she smiled and laughed as little my little the other small babies left to go home. We were there the whole time and Ella was happy and excited. I have a little social butterfly I guess!

I met the organizer of our mom group, but when I introduced myself she had a blank look like she had no idea I would be there. The 6th grader in me wanted to run and hide, she wasn't even expecting me? Ugh. I think it must not have been the best first time mommy experience. I'm proud that I forced myself for Ella's sake, I just know that mommy herself needs to learn to let go of the scared 6th grader and learn to find friend at recess.

Needless to say...I think we have a lot more baby dates in the future.

A Day in the Life

So the mommy group I am apart of suggested everyone write a "Day in the Life" post of what you do. It was supposed to be last Wednesday, but since that was Brad's birthday and Ella's 4 month shots I decided to wait. I picked yesterday.

It was Monday, which is a pretty typical day for us, plus it is grocery day! Woot! So here is our day in pictures when I remembered...okay I'm super bad at remembering to take pictures!

6:50am
Ella wakes up with Brad's alarm. She tries to go back to sleep but just couldn't. I got up to feed her and just when she finished she passed back out so I put her back in her crib and also passed out. No photos because we are not morning people. Glad my baby is not a morning person....Ha!

9:00am
We wake up for the day. Yes I know, be jealous. Ella nurses and then it is mommy's turn for breakfast. Yesterday I made some killer blueberry muffins so I munched on those with my coffee while Ella played with her BFF the doggy her Great Grandma gave her for Christmas.

10:30am
Time to figure out what's for dinner. I get out some cookbooks that I haven't used yet and Ella helps mommy pick out what to make. Yes that is my coffee cup on the ground and my baby's perfect toes. That's how we roll people.

11:00am

Ella goes down for her nap. This sounds like she just happily rolled off to dreamland, but in reality falling asleep is a very rough, tear filled and kicking screaming affair. She then passes out in my arms after rocking and then I sneak her into her crib. I take a shower and peak in on her. She is awake so we get dressed and then start going through the paper and our coupons to see what deals we can get!

12:30 - 2:00pm
We get ready to go and take off to the store. I went to Safeway and then Walgreen's. There are no photos of this because I forgot, but we were very cute and Ella had a wonderful time talking to people in Safeway. Talking or yelling, in babyworld it is all the same. Some people smiled, some gave me dirty looks because they think she is crying. Eh - she is just a talker. She falls asleep in Walgreen's so we hurry home and she goes down for her nap.

2:00pm
I realize I forgot to eat lunch so I had my favorite - cereal! This Kashi stuff is delish!

I then make pizza dough for our BBQ Chicken Pizza.

I also vacuum, clean the downstairs bathroom, do the dishes, check on baby, do the laundry, check on baby. Now I'm weirded out because she is still asleep. I then watch some DVR shows and finally baby wakes up.

4:30pm
Prepping dinner with my little helper!

5:00pm
Ella has a little mini-meltdown, as you can probably see coming in her frowning helper photo. We then play on the floor, in the Exersaucer, singing, dancing.  Yeah. That is Once Upon a Time in the background which is why she is faced away (please don't write hatemail about how I'm letting my child watch TV so I'm an awful person.)

6:00pm
Daddy gets home and dinner is just about ready. I then make everything for dessert - Blueberry Gallette. One of the things that totally rocks about preparing before you go to the store is that you learn that blueberries are buy one get two free so you can make yummy things...I always have a frozen pie crust handy so this was a no brainer. The second photo is the pizza. For some reason the cheese looks like apples. It is cheese. I don't know...

7:30pm
Daddy and mommy watch jeopardy. Daddy rocks it while mommy just says she likes Bob the best. Bob loses. Boo.

8:00pm
We try to watch Todd Margaret (show by that guy from Arrested Development). It sucks so we turn it off.

8:45pm
Daddy has a show down on his football game with his best friend - he scouts out the opposition and tells me all of the secrets to him winning. I pretend to care...then my friend Becky calls me (hooray!). She talks about her mother in law who is very sick, her kiddos, and pretty much everything girls talk about. I haven't talked to her in four months so we had a lot of stuff to talk about together.

10:00pm
Daddy gets Ella ready for bed and tells me he lost his game. I say that I don't marry losers. He says it is too late. We laugh and then go to bed. Ella sleeps like a champ all night.

The end!

Scarborough Fair Chicken

My dad bought me one of my most prized Christmas gifts - a red dutch oven. I love it so much because it makes me feel like a cook. Oh and it makes good food. But the whole feel like a cook thing is pretty much awesomeness. I've made a lot of things in it - chicken noodle soup, chili, and roast chicken but all of them were from my one cookbook that I always use and to be honest is the greatest thing in the whole world - the good ol' Betty Crocker cookbook. He bought me this book - Glorious One Pot Meals to go along with my new obsession so I wanted to make something easy to start out with since some of the recipes are tricky and very bold flavors and I wanted to slowly get Hubby into the idea of how awesome this pot really is without freaking him out.

Photo from Amazon linked above.

I made Scarborough Fair Chicken p 149 to start with. Now I forgot to take pictures and we ate it up right away so use your imagination here...

Ingredients
Olive Oil Spray
1 cup rice
1 cup plus 1 tbs brother or water
1/2 to 3/4 lbs chicken breasts
Sea Salt and ground pepper
3 to 5 garlic cloves
3 to 5 shallots
1 medium zucchini cut into 1/2 inch slices
1 medium yellow squash cut into 1/2 inch slices
5 fresh parsley sprigs
3 fresh sage leaves
4 fresh thyme sprigs

So here we go - spray the heck out of the top and insides of the dutch oven. Put in the rice as a thin layer and cove with the liquid. Place the chicken, then the garlic and shallots all chopped up on top. Then layer in the zucchini and squash and finally poke in the herbs where you can. Put the lid on top and bake for 45 minutes in 450 degree oven. Serve all mixed up and delish!

Now Hubby was a little scared of this one. He took a bite and then declared "It is much better than I thought it would be!" Gee...thanks. It was really good. Just take my word for it, the herbs and chicken yummers! I used brown rice which was a little more chewy but since I hate rice I was cool with it!

Parmesan Chicken Breasts

While I was on my blog-cation I made a few cookbook recipes and now that Ella is napping I'm going to add them in!

This cookbook is the Favorite Brand Name 4 Ingredient Cookbook. I am going to list the ingredients with the "brands" but I use so many generic brands that I don't think I actually used any of the ones on here...whatev!

Parmesan Chicken Breasts p 96

1/2 Cup KRAFT 100% Parmesan Cheese
1/4 cup dry bread crumbs
1 tsp each dried oregano leaves and parsley leaves
1/4 each paprika, salt and black pepper
6 boneless skinless chicken brast halves (2lbs)
2 tbs butter or margarine, melted

Mix the cheese, crumbs, and seasoning together. I make my own bread crumbs with toasted wheat bread because that is how I roll.

Dip chicken in butter, coat with cheese misture and place in 15x10x1 inch baking pan sprayed with no stick spray. I usually line with tin foil because I hate cleaning up pans.

Bake at 400 for 20-25 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink in center.

My spin - I cut this in half because we are only two solid food eaters in the house right now. It was super good, but a little bland. I think next time I will add more spices. The book recommends ground red pepper flakes, but even a little lemon pepper seasoning would be yummy!

Here is our meal with broccoli and rice (not white rice because I hate rice...this is that whole grain kind that actually has flavor and texture. Did I mention I hate rice?)

Doctors Appointment and Shots - oh my!

Ella had her four month appointment earlier this week which is always a very difficult thing for me. Our doctor is a wonderful Russian woman and I love her dearly, but Ella is not so sure. This appointment she was 14lbs 6oz and 25 inches. She is long and skinny, just like her daddy! She may actually surpass my height one day! At the appointment she cried and cried and the doctor said that she is showing signs of separation anxiety which is very normal, but apparently three months ahead of schedule! The whole time the doctor held her Ella just started at me and cried. I wonder if other stay at home mothers find their little ones have the same issue?

She received her four month shots after the appointment. Brad was supposed to take a number and ring the little door bell. He didn't ring the door bell so we were sitting there for a half an hour before someone else came and took a number and rang the bell. Good to know...

Ella of course hated her shots and cried and cried, but then was fine and took a nap on the way home. We thought she did really well until she woke up at 2am with a very high fever. She was crying and very upset so Brad gave her Tylenol and she went back to sleep.

Due to the crazy snow storm we had Brad went to work later in the day, but by noon I was calling him because Ella's fever was back. Here is the thing. I'm not good with sickness, not even my own. I think it is a result of my webmd addiction. I think everything is extremely awful and we are all going to die. That is rarely the case as my level headed Pharmacist husband has to remind me. After waiting on hold with the nurse hot line, Brad looked up what to do and I changed her into lighter clothing and then gave her Tylenol.

Now this would be the end of the story if I were a normal person, but unfortunately I am a scatterbrain clumsy person. While giving her the Tylenol I had her on the floor in the living room and put the bottle next to me. In inevitably knocked over said bottle of bright orange Tylenol. On the carpet. Hooray. So yesterday my living room carpet got a nice steam clean. There is still a little spot but since my carpet is dark I am the only one that is staring at it constantly. A nice reminder that giving a child liquid Tylenol should be done on a solid surface. Boo. Brad needs to buy more Tylenol since an entire bottle is now making sure that my living room carpet is fever and headache free...oh motherhood!

Snow!

It snowed yesterday, and this morning it SNOWED. It is so pretty and fluffy that it reminds me of when I was little waking up to the bright morning light that only can come from a heavy dusting. Ella watched the thick snowflakes fall in amazement and it was wonderful and fun! She showed her the snow and let her feel it. She cried. Yeah, mom just likes to look at it and not touch it too.

Cheesy Mexican Dip

Last night we went to dinner at my friend's house. She was serving Mexican food - Pork Tacos! Yummers! I was tasked with a Mexican appetizer, which I thought would be easy, but not so much. I decided on Queso. I found a recipe and went shopping, but like the bubble head I am I bought the wrong cheese. When I went to make it the recipe actually said "DO NOT USE CHEDDAR". Ooops....time to start over!

So I made a basic cheese sauce - equal parts flour and butter, half-and-half until it looks creamy, and then cheese. I used 2 tbs flour, 2 tbs butter, 1 cup half-and-half, and about a cup of cheese. Melt the butter and then add the flour, stirring until combined on low heat. The turn up the heat to medium and add the milk and stir and stir until it gets bubbly. Then add the cheese and stir until it gets nice and thick. If it isn't as thick as you want take out about 1/4 cup of the liquid and add a tbsp of flour and mix until smooth and add it back to the pot. Now here is the "Mexican" part. Take pickled jalapenos and chop them up. As much as you want and add them. Then add some pickled juice from the can. Taste as you go for spiciness. Then serve with chips! Yummers! Oh and I have no photos because it was that good....

Our night was super fun and since my friend is a super cook we left so full we could barely walk!

Oh dear...4MW

Ella has been having a rough time sleeping. That is an understatement. She apparently has decided that sleeping is under-rated and wants to wake up every hour from 3am until 7am. Fun, fun. Apparently there is a thing called Four Month Wakeful. They are so aware and awake throughout the day that night time is very difficult. Many think it is because they don't eat well in the day and make up for it at night, others that they need to be sleep trained to figure out how to put themselves back to sleep. Either way, it sucks and makes you want to cry. Okay it makes me want to cry.

Last night she slept a little better, but still up a few times, which for her is bad. At 5am I was up feeding her. My first response is to get super angry because I hate having to wake up. It was when I was feeling sorry for myself when she reached up and grabbed my finger with her hand and squeezed. It was such a small thing, but it was as if she was saying "Thanks for being here mommy." Anytime little one. Anytime.

Ella Updates!

So since I have been M.I.A. on my blog I am spending time today updating things. I haven't updated about Ella for the holidays and I want to make sure I do that. Since she is sleeping, what better time!

Christmas
We spent Christmas at home this year and it was so wonderful. While I love my family, traveling during the holidays sort of bums me out because I don't get to do my own traditions or wake up in my own bed. For traditions, I make my Grandma Rita's sticky buns for Christmas breakfast. They are somewhat hers, but since I could not find her real recipe in all of the mounds of cookbooks I got from her after she passed I sort of mish mashed this together.
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Here is what I make:

Ingredients
2 3/4 - 2 1/4 cups flour
1 package yeast
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp softened butter
1 cup plus 2 tbsp warm tap water

Combine 1 cup flour, undissolved yeast, sugar, and salt in large bowl. Stir until blended then add butter and stir. Slowly add the tab water. I usually do this in my big mixer so it is stirring the whole time.

Beat with the mixer at medium speed for 2 minutes scraping the bowl as you go. add 1/2 cup more flour and mix on high for 1 minute.

Gradually stir in enough flower with wooden spoon to make soft dough which leaves side of bowl. In Seattle this usually takes more because we are wet here, but in Spokane which is dry it takes less...so just keep an eye on it!

Kneed for 5-10 minutes on lightly flour board or with a kneading hook (that's what I do because I'm lazy yo!)

Let rest for 20 minutes covered. Punch it down.

Roll dough out into 9x13 inch rectangle.

Filling
1/2 cup softened butter
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar packed
2 tbsp cinnamon

Spread the butter on the dough rectangle and then sprinkle the sugars and cinnamon on top. Add more if you want. I'm crazy so I add more...

Next take a pan - I use the smaller rectangle one and since I suck at measure I have no idea what the real size is. Whatever. Use the butter paper to grease or spray it with spray. Now here is where you can pick what you want. If you want frosting you can just put them in the pan. I do sticky buns like Grandma so I mix about 2 tbs brown sugar with two to four squirts of maple syrup in the pan. Swish it around and then add more or less if you want. This part is my make believe part because she didn't really tell us what was up with it...so yeah. Cut the buns 1 1/2 inch pieces and then squish them into the gooey pan. If you are frosting, you then put 2 tbsp of melted butter on the top. Don't do this for the sticky buns because that is a lot of butter.Just trust me...

Wrap the pan in plastic wrap and then into the fridge for 2 to 24 hours. I do this Christmas Eve and then they are big and risen in the morning for baking.

Bake for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees and then when done let it rest for 20 minutes then here is the fun part - flip the pan on a platter and let the goo drizzle down. Yummers!
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So we ate these on Christmas while opening gifts. Ella was less than impressed with opening gifts but it was fun for us to actually have her with us! Last year we were telling everyone we were expecting and this year she is here! I feel so lucky to have her and a wonderful husband.

We then watched Christmas movies and took naps because you can do that when you don't have anywhere to go. It was heaven! I made a beef roast thingy and it was okay. I didn't keep the recipe because it was kind of hard and not really worth it. We ate, had apple pie, and just enjoyed being a family which sometimes is hard to remember to do when you are busy rushing around during the holidays. I can't wait until next year when Santa can make more of an appearance!

Here are some fun photos!

New Year
So for New Year we didn't really do anything! We are crazy people I know! A few days after New Year we had a wonderful treat - Ella rolled over! In one day she learned to roll over from tummy to back and from back to tummy. It was a little crazy and she now enjoys doing that all the time. She will roll and roll and rolls. Since we don't let her watch TV she has found she can roll until she can see it. Stinker! So now I have to watch her even more.

She has also found her voice. She hasn't yet found the volume button though. When we go shopping she likes to tell me about things. Loudly. People stare. I just smile at them and then talk to her back at a normal level. She will learn about inside voice, but right now I'm kind of enjoying her scaring people in the grocery store. We have some videos on YouTube but I can't find them right now. So yeah. Those will be coming!

For the New Year we also have had some very exciting new hobbies we are taking up. Brad bought an early birthday gift - a new bass guitar. I have no idea what kind it is, and he could probably go on and on about it. It is pretty - sort of brown with black at the edges. Whatever you call that in guitar speak. Ha! He also received a telescope for Christmas so he has been putting it together and learning about where we can go to see the stars. I am excited to be able to share this will Ella when she is older - even though she can't be an astronaut because apparently that profession doesn't exist anymore. Poor thing.

My hobby is sewing. I sewed a little in High School and am slowing picking it up again. I am taking an online sewing class and have successfully complete two projects and unsuccessfully bombed one. Who needs ric rac napkins anyway! It is fun and challenging, but keeps me busy! If anyone wants to give me tips please let me know!

So there you go...I think that is all we have been up to, plus or minus a few things. I feel like I just wrote a Christmas card letter for people. Sorry about that...now I'm back and track and can feel less guilty about it! To see some of Ella's monthly photos please visit that page - she is growing like a weed. Wait I hate that saying. She is growing like a beautiful and purposefully planted flower.

I'm baaack!

So I took a mini vacation from my blog. A lot was happening during December and though I did continue cooking like crazy and enjoying my sweet baby, I just needed some time. We lost our dog Star in December. It was one of the hardest things I have had to go through. She was my first baby, my first dog that I was solely responsible for, and most importantly she was my best friend. We adopted Star just a few days before my Grandma Rita passed away. On our way back in town after the funeral we picked Star up. The thing about Star was that her first few days with us were not exactly blissful. She was a rescue dog that had been forced to breed. She lived in a small outdoor cage where she was separated from her babies and not loved or cared for. Her life up until the point we got her was awful and you can't expect a dog to come out normal from something like that. She stayed in her crate the entire first day. The first night she made some noises so I went to her crate in the dark which really scared her so she started screaming at me. I cried, she cried. It was awful.

The next day I finally called the PUP organization I got her from and they told me I needed to force her out of the kennel. I put a leash on her and pulled her out. She came out and put her head in my lap. We have been inseparable ever since that day. That first month was hard. I had just lost my Grandmother and Christmas was just starting. I remember that Christmas as being the most heartbreaking. All I wanted to do was lay in bed, but we had house guests so I wasn't able to wallow in my sadness. I see photos of me from that Christmas and I look so unhappy and not at all like myself. I think the fact that Star was also hurting and sad, broken from her life up until that point, that we were became soul mates in a way. She could feel my sadness and felt like she had a companion in the darkness. I think it was two months before I even knew she had a tail because she was so afraid of everything.

As the winter began to thaw, Star became more comfortable. I think she realized that she was actually home. She didn't have to share her food, she had lots of toys that her just hers, and she had a giant bed that every day it was still there when she woke up. She was easy to potty train and would play with her toys for hours. She even knew how to fetch which still amazes us considering she didn't have toys the first few years of her life. She blossomed and found a place into our home and our hearts.

In the Spring after our Europe trip we noticed Star had a bump on her nose. It didn't seem to bother her, but I told the vet about it anyway. He felt it and said it was probably just a little cyst or something and to keep an eye out it. It grew and grew, but she didn't seem bothered by it at all. Then come this fall, almost a year later, and it was just too big. Her vet became worried and sent us to a specialist who said it was an aggressive form of cancer. She was very young and also the wrong breed to even have this type of cancer, but regardless she had it. The vet said she only had a few weeks. I was 8 months pregnant and was now being told my baby would never meet my best friend. It was devastating. She seemed fine was the thing. She would play and run and cuddle just like nothing was bothering her. She did fine for about a month, and then she slowed down. She took slower and shorter walks, had trouble jumping on the couch, and her nose was starting to close up. One morning she woke me up crying. I got up, like that first night, and came to her. She didn't scream, she just looked at me and she lay there. I got up and let her out and she ran down the stairs. This is weird for her, because she usually liked to stay in bed or have a nice round of morning pets before we stumble down the stairs for our walk. She went down and stood by her water bowl. I gave her some fresh water and she continued to drink the whole bowl. I filled it again and she drank more. I knew that was bad. Very bad. I get her leash and told her we should go for a walk.I put it on her and she slowly walked out the front door. Then she threw up. She kept walking and walked to the frosty grass and layed down. She wouldn't move she just layed there breathing hard. I picked her up and put her in her bed and woke up Brad. From there we had to make a decision. She was in pain and very sad. We took her in and I had to say goodbye.

I miss her so much. Those words seem so empty in black and white. I still wake up in the night and look at her bed thinking she is there. When I go to bed I look for her to tell her it is bed time. When I get a glass of water I sometimes bend to fill her water bowl. She isn't here, but yet she is. She helped me grow and taught me that no matter how bad our past is, no matter how awful we were treated or what happens to us, it is in the past. Move forward, love and give and most importantly enjoy.

So, that is why I have been away from my blog. I've been heartbroken. I didn't want to write about it because it hurts so bad, but I think everyone who has a pet can relate and I wanted people to know and to remember those little furry friends they may have lost.

If you would like to adopt a pet and give them a forever home please visit People United for Pets or Pet Finder. There are so many animals out there that have been hurt, forgotten, or mistreated by people. I know puppies are tempting, but giving a peice of your heart to an animal in need is worth it. Believe me. This changed my life.

Okay, moving forward.