Before I was a mom I would get really hurt when my friends would refer to their "mommy friends". What was I "childless friend" "married but not procreating friend" "selfish career working friend"? Why the categories? It wasn't until I was a stay at home mom, lonely, and in desperate need of someone who knew what I was going through to talk with. I tried with my other "childless friends" but it is hard. I think looking in you think that being a parent can't be that hard. Sure there is poop, crying, throw up...but the emotional toll it can take is something very different. I can't really describe it, but at the same time my "childless friends" are actually the people I like to spend more time with. It reminds me that I once was a normal person that did not have to worry about smelling like sour milk. Oh and also it is nice to NOT talk about babies for once...go figure. So even though I enjoy my time with my "childless friends" I know that I need to branch out if not just for my sanity but for Ella to meet other kids.
Well in my attempt to find "mommy friends" in the community known for their social freeze (Seattle is very well known for not being openly friendly...just trust me on this), I joined a mom group.
Yesterday Ella and I attended our first playgroup. It was at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. It was a zoo. Tons of kids of all ages and moms, dads, grandmas, pretty much everyone! I was going to be a part of a mom group in my area, but when I got there I had no idea where I was or who to talk to. I felt like the first day of school.
In 6th grade I moved to a new school and that first day was one of the most frightening things I've ever done. You don't know anyone, and at first it is okay because you have assigned seats and everyone introduces themselves, but then recess and lunch happens. I skipped the assigned seats at the mom group and went straight into recess but now I had a small child attached to me. I'm not saying people weren't nice, but if it weren't for the fact that my child has only been around two other children, each for only a few hours, I would have ran away.
I found a spot next to two moms of similar aged babies, but talking was impossible with the loud and busy children running around. I kept looking at Ella because the other babies were fussy or unhappy. What was my Ella doing? She was sitting there smiling. She apparently loves other children. This is a blessing and curse, because while mommy wants her to be social, mommy herself had a slight panic attack with the sticky and smelling toddlers that were rushing around her.
Story time and songs then started, which is always Ella's favorite things. I moved her hands with the songs and she smiled and laughed as little my little the other small babies left to go home. We were there the whole time and Ella was happy and excited. I have a little social butterfly I guess!
I met the organizer of our mom group, but when I introduced myself she had a blank look like she had no idea I would be there. The 6th grader in me wanted to run and hide, she wasn't even expecting me? Ugh. I think it must not have been the best first time mommy experience. I'm proud that I forced myself for Ella's sake, I just know that mommy herself needs to learn to let go of the scared 6th grader and learn to find friend at recess.
Needless to say...I think we have a lot more baby dates in the future.
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